17, dancing queen*

Last year, I made a birthday post, and I think it's a good thing to try and continue and reflect, or plan each year. New Year's is always too confronting to really sit down and think about anything, it always feels like a shock that another year has gone by, a whole year that I'll never have a change to go back to. But birthdays don't have those connotations, so it feels a bit less confronting.

This year, I know, will be gone before I know it, but there'll also be moments which feel like they'll never pass. It's an important time in terms of dictating future paths, but also not at the same time. There are always uncertainties, always alternative ways around. I read something the other day, which I think is valuable advice to keep in mind

"Be firm about your goals, but flexible about your methods and how you get there."

I find that personally, I'm much more effective and significantly less crazed when I concentrate on each singular task before me, rather than fixating on all that is before me and the whole culmination of tasks yet to be done. Because I have no clear goals or career(s) in mind, I want to well enough to provide myself the widest range of options possible. That's going to take a lot of hard work, but I'm up for it. I just hope that it's enough. But even if it isn't, it'll have to be.

*I'm actually pretty terrible at dancing 

oh holiday

some kind of egg-y thing at sotto on west

It's Christmas! Or the school holidays at least, since last Thursday, but Christmas is happening soon too. That time of year were everyone talks about festivity and presents. Time gets a bit weird too. Minutes past very slowly, but days often blur into each other.

Two of my good friends are spending it overseas this year and they've just left, one of them flying over the pacific ocean right this moment. These holidays in particular are a bit of a weird groggy time. There is so much work to do, but also a lot of time to do it in. I have a few chapters of maths homework, a rather large number of essays to write and three major works to get well under way. Nothing I've started on yet but I have relative faith that I'll get it all done. fingers crossed.

The graduating class of '14 got their atars a few days ago, the numerical value of thirteen years of education has been assessed. Phwoar. That is certainly a lot to feel whether good or bad and it's almost unbelievable to think that I'll be getting the same thing in a year's time.

This is a pretty intense period of time, possibly the hardest months that I've gone through so far, but I'm still alive and kicking after the first exam block, and we'll see how this goes. Now that's it is the holidays, I'm going to try and enjoy myself at least a little and who knows, maybe post more than once in a blue moon. 

french toast and frankenstein

I was kinda bored in the afternoon the other day, and slightly peckish, so I was scrolling through the interwebs for the easiest possible thing to cook and eat, that would still actually taste ok. And I foudn Liv's recipe for french toast. I always through french toast was super hard and that only badasses who were fully self-actualised and always had actual, SUFFICIENT time in the morning for fulfilling and joyous breakfast-times everyday were capable of making it successfully, but apparently I'm wrong. It's actually shockingly not that difficult! You just beat a glug of milk, an egg, some cinnamon, a teaspoon of vanilla extract and sugar to taste in a bowl, drop in a piece to bread and poke it around to make sure it absorbs everything, and then plop it in a pan, and then wait around for a few minutes. Not that hard! I was amazed at my own ability to not mess it up that I ate lots and was then so bloated for the rest of the day I didn't even have enough stomach space to shovel in some dinner. Until about 10pm right before bed when I got the goddarn nibbles again and ate a kinda weird tasting cranberry and nut bar (I never trust dried bits of fruit in otherwise perfectly good food items).

I also picked up the penguin classics edition of Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, but since being swamped with chemistry coursework, I'm only about 1/3 of the way through, and I'll refrain from casting any judgements until I reach the end.  

it's a wrap

VvV VV Vv orangey ambient lighting

Last Friday was the last test of my preliminary exams, which means year eleven is basically over. Walking out of the exam hall for the last time in the near future felt so freaking good you have no idea. We went to Max Brenner's afterwards and celebrated with chocolatey waffles and vanilla icecream.

But it's bittersweet, since in about four weeks time, year twelve officially starts, the year it all counts, the last year of high school. These four weeks are probably going to be a hazy limbo of teenage angst but transitions periods are probably necessary to acclimatize.

Social, which is a kind of dance/semi-formal (?) function thing which school holds in conjunction with our brother school, is happening in two weeks or so, so that's something to occupy my time. I've picked out most of what I need already, but there are still a few things I need to scavenge (lip liner!) and it's tremendous fun helping friends get ready too.

I'm going to try to spend this pseudo-break taking more photos with le CAMERA and less time waffling with low to moderate enjoyment in black holes on the internet. Wish me luck on that one.